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“everyone wants to 10x their business but very few people want to 10x themselves"

Takeaways from Ed Andrew talking with Thomas Miller

Thomas Miller is an EQ expert, entrepreneur, coach and therapist, he has also clocked up over 800 speaking engagements. He runs the Innovative Therapy Solutions wellness practice in Massachusetts and also Thomas Miller Coaching. Thomas has been a licensed therapist since 2002, when he graduated from NYU with my Master’s in Social Work.  Since then, he has been providing therapy & coaching services to children, teens, adults and their families.  Over the past 16 years, he has coached and provided therapy for thousands of individuals, families, and executives from myriad cultures, circumstances, and walks of life.  

Thomas has also been the Clinical Director of a Wilderness Therapy Program for teenagers with high-risk behaviors and co-occurring (dual diagnosis) disorders from all over the world, and the Director of a Mental Health Clinic. As the former Family Wellness Director of an Addiction Treatment Center serving adults with co-occurring (dual diagnosis) disorders, I learned that addiction affects everyone in the family and in order for true healing to take place; the family must create a new normal.

Thomas is passionate about wellness clinically and holistically. He talks to Ed Andrew about the role of social media in mental health, his passion about learning from every different modality, scientific and experiential.  We also discuss his journey into entrepreneurship and how he develops his personal brand internationally. We also take a deep dive into family wellness and addiction, and the ethical issues that clinicians face.  It is a wonderful episode to learn more about alternative therapies and also for anyone whose family member or friend is suffering a mental health problem or abusive relationship particularly in young adults and teenagers.  

  • on running 3 businesses at the same time (2)

 

  • why his wellness practice is where his heart is really based - destigmatising mental health in the community - discussing teen addiction - active and passive work models (6)

 

  • why less people in mental health are on social media and building a personal brand - discussing difference between coaching and therapy -

 

     "people want to be perfect -your pedigree as professional is very different to shooting a quick 45 send video" (9)

 

  • on Gary Vaynerchuk - being an EQ expert and exec coaching - “the mental health system is mangled care and there are many shady people in it" ….trying to expand his brand and subject matter visibility over social media (13)

 

  • expressing vulnerability across social media - how shame is a killer

  • "everyone wants to 10 their business but very few people are able to 10x themselves" - whatever it is you need to break isolation (22.30) 

 

  • discussing pushing his clients to change and cognitive dissonance of high functioning addicts in business and celebrities - Micky Mantle (25) 

 

  • discussing ethical issues with treating complex families - the 'incorrect level of care is still better than no level of care' - unless it is something we cannot do and have tried over and over again (32)

  • the parallel process of addiction, supporting families when patient has recovered and the family has not (36) 

 

  • 40 - decompensation from trauma - the devil you know is sometimes better than the devil you don’t - "you cannot toward and run away from the same thing at the same time" - that is what trauma is (43)

 

  • working with kids and working with your hands - how your body always keeps its score, learning to make fire with a Bow Drill (44)

 

  • discussing scarcity mode or growth mindsets - using alternative medicine practices 

 

  • great therapy is all about emotional intelligence (51)

 

  • on homeostasis, resilience and Kintsugi, the Japanese art of showing vulnerability (54)

 

  • the biggest thing that families do wrong - compressing a child's development, snowploughing as a parent - building resilience for children, need adversity - adversity can be positive, but not having too much cortisol - genetic structure of your brain, not good for our brain (56)

 

  • Dalai lama - things you deal with today are things you don’t need to do tomorrow (62)

 

  • on entrepreneurship, there is a cost of admission to not being a billionaires and cost of admission to being one, but we are still blind when it comes to our families (63)

 

  • we always have to be the dancer, to be fluid, never be closed to anything  - Thich Nhat Hanh suggested reading The Miracle of Mindfulness and Peace is every step (65)

 

  • his message "create the change you want - what is the life of design that you want, how do you get back to that, how to make something new or even better from that" (72)

Suggested books

 

 

To contact Thomas please click on the links below

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